"Beam me up, Scotty!"

It's not always easy to keep our minds out of the dark places. We all have a dark corner in our mind, and most of the time we manage to stay out of it. But when we start to wander back there for one reason or another we are overcome with darkness and all the boxes of storage come crashing down on us. For me there are two sides of me that live in alternate realities. As long as I can keep them separate one can control the other, but when they meet and merge into one, well I am in trouble. That is when the sky is swallowed by blackness, and only an outside source can fish me out with strong enough bait, and fishing line made of metal chains.

I'm pretty happy, and I find myself going back there less and less, but you know what's weird? When you are there, you like it there. You like being overtaken by an emotion so strong and feeling everything, anger, sadness, pity, depression, not hiding any of it or being so afraid you suppress it. Strong emotions, good or bad, cause the same reaction to occur in the body, and we, as people, love to feel. We love these strong emotions that rarely occur in real life. Maybe that's why we can't pull ourselves out.

I'm glad I have someone to pull me out, because when people don't, that's when they don't come back. This also made me realize I can't count on someone else being there. I need to be stronger, I need to never go there, I need to find a way to remove that corner from my mind entirely..but if I did I could not come suck a little bit of it out at times to create art. Then I thought of Monsters Inc. how laughs ended up being stronger than screams. If I could capture the magnitude of that emotion with happiness instead of depression, then maybe I could totally remove the darkness and in its' place have light. That way I could stay in control, and have motivation to be l'artiste.

On another note I saw a bee the other day. Amazing how many kids, well even people are afraid of them. The bee made me realize how amazing God is. When a bee stings you it dies. It doesn't want to hurt anyone, and I wonder if it knows the consequence. It is hurting someone and is making a suicide mission at the same time. Seems like a lose/lose to me. what if people were like that? I mean depending on your ability to empathize it does hurt you when you hurt someone else, it hurts everyone to an extent, with the exception of the sociopaths I guess. But what if we really physically died when we hurt someone? Maybe we should all live like we would... Today I learned a lot from Mrs. honeybee.