Knowledge

There's so much to learn I can't stand it! Not that I'm overwhelmed with learning it all, I just got to figure out a way to keep it all in my head. I literally feel like plugging my ears so it can't spill out!

Nothing is a more wonderful feeling to me than learning...well maybe the joy lies in the thinking aspect.

Today I was once again taken to new depths. Asked what I believed on things that I could talk myself in circles with all day. Told that until I know where I stand it is difficult to know where I'm coming from, knowing my full identity, and understanding myself as a communicator.
I love this wonderful thing called learning! I love when I'm reminded it truly isn't about grades or tests, it's about the pure and simple fact that we have a mind, mix it with the existence of information, and we get a desire, nah, a thirst for knowledge.

We are capable of soo much more! Right now I'm so disappointed with how society is set up, kids go to college, bullshit their way through, and get a piece of paper so they can move on to what's "truly important", getting a job and becoming a consumer. Screw that! Knowledge is the destination for me, I'm not passing through it on my way to get a bigger paycheck. Why is humanity trained this way, why is society set up this way. Bettering my career, that's great but superficial, bettering myself..that will last forever.

It has been such a long time since I updated about my reading list! There is so much to be said but I'm so caught up on the book I just finished I fear I can't write enough on the others. I have so many books I'm reading for my 19th century women literature class that I'm very excited about also.

Book #12: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society: I think I already wrote about this one. But such an easy cute read that made me want to be apart of something, a community, and very much so made me want to travel to Guernsey. Well written, epistolary format, interesting view of a historical event that I've never thought about before, just simply wonderful.

Book #13: Animal Farm: Another book that just takes an hour or two and worth reading. Nice, short and to the point. One of my favorite books is 1984. Animal farm is a simpler version of a dystopia using animals. A book about how tricky forming a government is, how quickly things get out of hand, how human ignorance, greed and power will lead us to a downfall. It was fun recognizing the events in history Orwell was referencing. Such a neat way to look at them.

Book # 14: Stranger in a Strange Land: Started out so neat! What a cool rare perspective to view the world as. Such a beautiful innocence that viewed this superficial, materialistic sinful world. About halfway though the book it got weirder and weirder. It made me uncomfortable and although a lot of neat things were brought up; religion, freedom, knowledge, sex, enlightenment, gender roles, human limits... I was left feeling angry at the book. It seemed to challenge my morals and values and like anyone, when I feel my world being shaken, I get angry. This book was written well and said a lot of neat things. But I was not comfortable with this cult, their sexual practices and some other things that were brought up, but I think that was the point. The outside world in the book did not understand or support it either. Usually when you are faced with the inside view of something you did not previously understand it opens up your mind and you sympathize with this group. In this book I was standing with the rest of the world rejecting this new prophet and his practices, and I feel horrible for admitting that.

Book # 15: College Girl: This book hit me deep for some reason, it made me want to scream. I got to a certain point and I was overwhelmed with sadness and frustration that I just had to read the majority of it in one sitting because I needed it to get better before I could live again. Even though my life is different in many ways, I felt like I was this girl for some strange reason. It taught me a lot about me, life, relationships, relationships I've never understood before, ignorant people, and just college in general.

There are so many good quotes in all of these books that spoke to me, but since I update so rarely, I'm just going for the basics right now for my piece of mind. Will right more later! Just wanted to get this down quickly before I turn any more pages!

In The Right Place

There are days when I forget who I am, there are days when I don't like how I'm acting, and there are days where I'm lost completely. But today I feel better about who I am than I have in a long time.

In this first week of school, after getting frustrated and being discouraged, I finally settled into the fact that I will be here for 15 weeks. School is not hard, but man is it a work load! I'm not saying I don't love it, cuz for some crazy reason I do, but I am excited to be done with this semester so I've completed more college than I have left. That will feel good. Overall I'm happy with my classes and constantly get little reminders that I am in the right place making my annoying doubts smaller and smaller. You probably all know I've driven myself have insane trying to decide where I should be. I found out I can only take 6 more classes for my major, and looking at my list of 13 I'd love to take, I realized I'm going to be ok if there's that many classes in my discipline I'm excited about. My major is called the crossroads major. This is because where all other majors pass though meaning, I live in it! Meaning and messages are everything! They create our world and wrap there arms around everything else making them possible. For me, someone who wants to do everything, and is a little bit of everything, this seems like my place. I just love language! I love learning how to improve my communication because it allows me to do everything I truly want to; understand others better, build tolerance, grow, help others understand me better, and have the tools to persuade and demand attention to change the world. Who knows what I will do with it, but really my life is not about a career, or what I'm going to do, it's about who I'm going to be, and this is the best major to improve myself in every day life.

Will write about all my good and interesting books soon!

Jump In!

Press play and read on. lol

Hello, well I'm back from Greece (view blog: http://discovertheadventure.blogspot.com/ and follow if you like what you see. lol) and I had just an amazing time! In fact it has been quite difficult to readjust to normal life. I'm so glad I went! I re-found some of my confidence, adventure, independence, and really some happiness. Sometimes you get a glimpse of the person you were made to be, and when you get to be that person you feel in harmony with your inner soul. I felt that way on my trip. I feel that way with my new confidence and motivation. I had many realizations on this trip. I realized that I deserve to have friends who love and care about me, and even though I've been disappointed by lots of friends, I'm ready to put that behind me and find some new ones. There are a lot of amazing people out there, and it's often when you are not looking that you find them. Traveling around the world and seeing people all over, well I realize that I'm pretty lucky with the guy I have, and it's worth working through all the hard things life throws at you to stay with a person like that. I learned I'm pretty great too. My family makes sure to knock you down if you are ever in a good place with yourself. They don't just keep you grounded, they keep you just below the surface and call it staying humble. Well I'm tired of having no self-esteem, and I'm starting to realize it's ok to like who you are. It's ok to be happy, and to be happy with yourself. And since I know it's ok to be happy with myself, I don't have to be scared to work hard to get to there. Often my family seems under the surface, I don't know, jealous of me going on these trips. But that's not really fair. The only difference between me and them is I made it happen. I stopped saying what if, and said sign me up. Because it doesn't come down to money and time, it comes down to fear and laziness. We all say "wouldn't it be cool if..." well I get sick of that and I try to always say "wasn't it cool when..." I encourage everyone to, simple put, make stuff happen. Sign up for that blank you've always wanted. Rearrange your work schedule, start saving money, make life happen! If you don't it's not going to happen for you. Stop making excuses and being lazy because it's worth it when you do. Of course I'm going to take my own advice because I'm scared as hell to do lots of things as well. But one by one I'm knocking those things off the list, and I'm happy every time I do. I hope everyone had an awesome summer and is living it up all the way to the end. But the end is approaching quickly. Which isn't something to be sad about, because there is always something beautiful and something great all the time and around every corner.