Finding a purpose and contentment.

Lately every moment is a struggle for me. Every breath seems like a waste and I wish I could float away altogether. I don't see the point of life. I can't live like this, my heart physical hurts. I need to find a way to make my life more meaningful. Traveling won't cut it, I can't afford to constantly be gone. And if I always have to run away to be happy then that is not a long term solution anyway. So I am making a list of things I am seriously going to do in order to make my life more meaningful and hopefully have a purpose. I'm not sure how exactly this will help, but I have to take my mind off of hating life. Distract myself from feeling alone and empty.

Body

- If you feel better physically you have more energy to work on yourself mentally.

1. Continue to do yoga 2-3 times a week. Work myself hard. (I think exercise is a powerful medicine, but alone it doesn't seem to be doing the trick.)

2. Get a membership with Kevin and go together. (I love working out, but sometimes I get tired of doing everything alone, especially when I am the only one at the gym on a Saturday night)

3. Run everyday- Even if it is just a little. My goal is to eventually be able to run 3 miles. I know it does not sound that hard, but running is difficult for me.

4. Learn how to cook healthy dinners and cook 3 times a week.

5. Take dance lessons

Mind

6. Simplify my life. Try to get closer to just owning the necessities. Everything I own is reflected in my mind and clutters it up constantly. It's like everything I own I carry around on my back. I want to feel light and not weighed down by things!

7. Learn Spanish. I want to feel like a powerful, independent, strong, intelligent person, I think being bilingual would really support this image.

8. Take piano lessons. Music is the cure to a hurting heart.

9. Work on a novel. Take one of my ideas, any one and write a page a day. This would give me a solid book in less than a year. It never has to be read by anyone else, I just want to know I can do it.

10. Keeping reading! Read for 20 minutes every night before I go to bed.

11. Get a job, something with not very many hours that I don't dread so I can derive some self-worth again

12. Get my TEFL certificate.

Soul

13. Go to a church, any church, and go there with an open mind.

14. Meditate everyday

15. Go on more walks/hikes in the summer

16. Buy new furniture and arrange my apartment in a way that fits my zen. I want to come home to a place that makes my soul happy. A place that is clean, organized, stylish, and simple.

17. Volunteer

18. Buy a puppy, train it, walk it, and love it.

19. Plan my next trip for the summer.

20. Make an effort to see my friends more often.

21. Try something new every Friday night with Kevin- date night.

22. Accomplish all the things on your mind right now.

Finish Scrapbooks

-Costa Rica

-Italy

- Family