Life is so weird.
Watching my life put into boxes was so weird. As I started looking through those boxes, I unraveled my whole life.
Why had some of this stuff been so important to me? I went out of my way to put strange little trinkets in little tins and it cracked me up. Why, now, does this stuff mean so little to me, that I can pretty much trash it. All this stuff was and is the all inclusive me. Who was I, what was I thinking? It is even more weird when I remember exactly what I was thinking, and have no idea why I thought that. In our lifetime, we make, learn, create, and collect so much. All of which leads to who we are. But what happens when we get out of touch with who we used to be? To me, that's no good, yes, we often learn and grow and get better in a lot of ways, but sometimes we just knew what we were talking about in the beginning, and we shouldn't forget. Mostly I don't know if we are who we are, or if we create who we are, but you know when you are being true to yourself, and often we are not... We all should learn more about who we used to, and not hide that part of us, because that will help us know who we are now. Let's all laugh at us, and listen to our hearts.
~Carrie Marie~ I'm a dork, I'm too passionate about dumb things and always have been, I still love to color, I still keep stupids thing (lots less) because I know one day I will find it and laugh, I still have the same questions and frustrations that I always have, and always will, and I no longer spell enemies, inemees. haha.
Book #3 is coming along great, almost half way.
About Me
- Care
- I am a lot of things, sometimes it drives me insane,and I think too much, but at the end of the day I am happy with who I am. I spend most of my time trying to understand this life, creating the person I would like to be, and learning. I always appreciate the little things, and I try to be better than, and to make better, the bad things.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Book #2
First off I must say it is a beautiful day and I am enjoying this snow immensely!
Veronika Decides To Die: Paulo Coelho
I loved this book, It was a quick easy read and just what I needed at this point in my life. Veronika seemed to be at a similar point in her life as me, and everyone likes feeling validated and that they are not alone with their thoughts. She felt as if the world was hopeless and beyond her reach to save, and also felt life only got worse from where she stood.
My absolute favorite part of this book was how it redefined Crazy! "They think they are normal because they all do the same thing." Crazy is daring to be different. It was amazing to me how in the beginning of the book, the people in the insane asylum seemed like the least crazy in the world. They liked it there because they could be free, they didn't have to monitor their behavior and desires, because they were not being judged and did not have so many rules to live by.
But in the end, it does not matter who is crazy or not, because we are all afraid! We are all afraid to do things differently, to leave the familar and the comfortable, to look different to those around us. And most importantly, no one appreciates life until they are faced with death, which lines up with my beliefs perfectly that no one can appreciate the bad, without the good, no one can appreciate being warm, unless they have truly been freezing.
Here are some lines that I related to, or that I just thought were silly/ironic.
"It was best to put an end to everything now, while she was still brave and healthy enough to die."
"She had always spent her life waiting for something."
"they took pleasure in the suffering of others, because that made them believe they were happy."
"What did it mean to be crazy? Perhaps she should ask one of the lunatics."
"This madwomen talks a lot of sense."
"I never used to suffer depression on cold, gray, cloudy days like this. I felt as if nature was in harmony with me, that it reflected my soul."
"In adolescence she thought it was too early to choose; now in young adulthood, she was convinced it was too late to change."
"People never learn anything by being told; they have to find out for themselves."
"insanity is the inability to communicate your ideas."
"She expended most of her energy in trying to behave in accordance with the image she had created of herself. Because of this she had never had enough energy to be herself."
"They've got a bigger market than we have, he thought. The happier people can be, the unhappier they are. "
"Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy."
"You have two choices: to control your mind or let your mind control you."
"It's what you are, not what others make you."
"Empty your mind, stop thinking about anything, simple be."
"Difficulty was not due to chaos or disorganization or anarchy, but to an excess of order."
"An idea only exists when someone tries to put it into practice."
"People never stop and wonder why they should behave like that."
"Diplomacy is also the art of postponing decisions until the problems resolve themselves."
"The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort."
Ok there are soo many more, but the rest are long. lol.
~Care~
Veronika Decides To Die: Paulo Coelho
I loved this book, It was a quick easy read and just what I needed at this point in my life. Veronika seemed to be at a similar point in her life as me, and everyone likes feeling validated and that they are not alone with their thoughts. She felt as if the world was hopeless and beyond her reach to save, and also felt life only got worse from where she stood.
My absolute favorite part of this book was how it redefined Crazy! "They think they are normal because they all do the same thing." Crazy is daring to be different. It was amazing to me how in the beginning of the book, the people in the insane asylum seemed like the least crazy in the world. They liked it there because they could be free, they didn't have to monitor their behavior and desires, because they were not being judged and did not have so many rules to live by.
But in the end, it does not matter who is crazy or not, because we are all afraid! We are all afraid to do things differently, to leave the familar and the comfortable, to look different to those around us. And most importantly, no one appreciates life until they are faced with death, which lines up with my beliefs perfectly that no one can appreciate the bad, without the good, no one can appreciate being warm, unless they have truly been freezing.
Here are some lines that I related to, or that I just thought were silly/ironic.
"It was best to put an end to everything now, while she was still brave and healthy enough to die."
"She had always spent her life waiting for something."
"they took pleasure in the suffering of others, because that made them believe they were happy."
"What did it mean to be crazy? Perhaps she should ask one of the lunatics."
"This madwomen talks a lot of sense."
"I never used to suffer depression on cold, gray, cloudy days like this. I felt as if nature was in harmony with me, that it reflected my soul."
"In adolescence she thought it was too early to choose; now in young adulthood, she was convinced it was too late to change."
"People never learn anything by being told; they have to find out for themselves."
"insanity is the inability to communicate your ideas."
"She expended most of her energy in trying to behave in accordance with the image she had created of herself. Because of this she had never had enough energy to be herself."
"They've got a bigger market than we have, he thought. The happier people can be, the unhappier they are. "
"Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy."
"You have two choices: to control your mind or let your mind control you."
"It's what you are, not what others make you."
"Empty your mind, stop thinking about anything, simple be."
"Difficulty was not due to chaos or disorganization or anarchy, but to an excess of order."
"An idea only exists when someone tries to put it into practice."
"People never stop and wonder why they should behave like that."
"Diplomacy is also the art of postponing decisions until the problems resolve themselves."
"The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort."
Ok there are soo many more, but the rest are long. lol.
~Care~
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Book #1
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
Even though this book took me a little long to read, I really enjoyed it. This book really fascinated me. It made me ask the question; if there were never any consequences for my actions, how would I act? I'd like to say without a doubt, I would be good. But often when we as people do something wrong, the guilt doesn't appear or last long if we are not caught. Bad actions grow easier every time they are committed and go unnoticed.
Some parts were lengthy and a little too detailed for my taste, but overall I loved it! I really enjoyed learning some new vocabulary like Dandy! Here are some of my favorite lines
"The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world...they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat. They live as we all should live, undisturbed, indifferent, and without disquiet."
"I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves."
"But the bravest man among us is afraid of himself."
"They seemed to be able to give a plastic form to formless things."
"You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know."
"The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible..."
"I wonder who it was defined man as a rational animal. It was the most premature definition ever given. Man is many things, but he is not rational."
"Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes."
"Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing."
"Experience was of no ethical value. It was merely the name men gave to their mistakes."
"Children begin by loving their parents, as they grow older they judge them, sometimes they forgive them."
"The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid of ourselves."
"To be good is to be in harmony with one's self."
"I love acting. It is so much more real than real life."
"We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities."
"Each one of us has Heaven and Hell in him."
"If we women did not love you for your defects, where would you all be? Not one of you would ever be married."
"Each man lives his own life, and pays his own price for living it."
Anyway it is kinda sad how many lines stayed with me.
Book # 2: Veronika Decides to Die-
I just started this and I love love love it! I have a feeling I will finish it very soon...
Even though this book took me a little long to read, I really enjoyed it. This book really fascinated me. It made me ask the question; if there were never any consequences for my actions, how would I act? I'd like to say without a doubt, I would be good. But often when we as people do something wrong, the guilt doesn't appear or last long if we are not caught. Bad actions grow easier every time they are committed and go unnoticed.
Some parts were lengthy and a little too detailed for my taste, but overall I loved it! I really enjoyed learning some new vocabulary like Dandy! Here are some of my favorite lines
"The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world...they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat. They live as we all should live, undisturbed, indifferent, and without disquiet."
"I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves."
"But the bravest man among us is afraid of himself."
"They seemed to be able to give a plastic form to formless things."
"You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know."
"The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible..."
"I wonder who it was defined man as a rational animal. It was the most premature definition ever given. Man is many things, but he is not rational."
"Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes."
"Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing."
"Experience was of no ethical value. It was merely the name men gave to their mistakes."
"Children begin by loving their parents, as they grow older they judge them, sometimes they forgive them."
"The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid of ourselves."
"To be good is to be in harmony with one's self."
"I love acting. It is so much more real than real life."
"We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities."
"Each one of us has Heaven and Hell in him."
"If we women did not love you for your defects, where would you all be? Not one of you would ever be married."
"Each man lives his own life, and pays his own price for living it."
Anyway it is kinda sad how many lines stayed with me.
Book # 2: Veronika Decides to Die-
I just started this and I love love love it! I have a feeling I will finish it very soon...
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Twenty
I am officially twenty and couldn't be happier about how my day went! What a perfect day! Breakfast in bed, manicure and pedicure with my mom, a little shopping, school, a delicious lunch at the Cheesecake factory, and a delightful dinner at the White Chocolate Grill. Just a wonderful day!
Now that I am twenty (whatever that means) I have decided to to make some new goals for myself!
* Read a book every two weeks, that's 24 books by the time I'm 21.
* Sign up for my study abroad program.
* Take lessons, maybe voice, karate, piano, or dance.
* Go to the gym twice a week.
* Finish a short novel.
* Only say nice things.
* Continue to search for more spirituality.
One more thing, I am totally, completely done with judging others. I always try not to, but who am I kidding I probably do it, at least subconsciously, all the time. All it comes down to is living the best life you can and making friends along the way. It is too much work to always worry about other people and the decisions they are making. Who knows what is going to happen. Seriously if I keep thinking about all the sadness in the world and worrying about everyone else this much I am just going to start crying one day and never stop. So other people can live as they please, and I will be here learning from them, and I will be there if they need me.
Anyway I have my questions, my flaws, my discontentment, my fears, and my worries, but I also have a lot of amazing people in my life, and it's a good life all in all.
Love (the no longer teenage version of...) Carrie
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