What makes me me?

Like most women I look in the mirror and tear myself to pieces. It's sick, and it's sad and it is no way to live. Why do we do this to ourselves. Since I cannot really change the way I was made, I wonder why lately I am so down on my appearance and why my self-confidence is dangerously low. It's interesting when you realize how many accomplishments it takes to build your confidence up, but I bet we can all peg a handful of events that totally tore us down. That's how i feel recently: stripped, and insecure in my own skin, and I don't like it at all. I realize that if I'm unhappy with my mirror image then it must be something within I must change.

All this time I wonder what I'm looking for, and the answer is myself I guess. But lately I feel lost. I second guess my beliefs and values, and sometimes don't even know who I am, or what makes me me. I say things and feel guilty or out of control of the words. So I decided to make a list of things I know for sure about myself so I can begin to put myself back together.

I like to create
I like purple
I like fairness
I like animals
I am a third wave feminist
I care about the planet
I love my family
I want to make a difference
I like being outside
I like to think
I like weather
I like appreciation
I like learning
I like being healthy
I like being active
I like reading/writing
I don't like disrespect
I don't like closed mindedness'
I don't like materialism
I don't like ignorance
I don't like cockyness
I don't like fake
I don't like jealousy
I don't like being envious

Those are things I know for sure about myself, some of the things that make me unique, or not.

Lately I don't relate or get along with anyone, especially people my age. I feel pretty alone. But friends are people that have things in common with you, so I think I have to know who I am before I can find people who will compliment my life and me theirs.

For now I am going to focus on figuring me out, acting nicer, and feeling better about myself.
I think this means cutting people out of my life that do not compliment me, and make me act a way I do not like.

For the rest of us, let's stop judging each other when it comes to appearance. Only when we stop mocking and judging others, can we stop judging ourselves, which would get rid of our biggest critic. We are all so much more beautiful then we often feel.