Tired

I can't take life right now. I'm tired of being depressed, and I'm tired of being angry. I wish I could just learn to let things go that are out of my control, but I just can't. Too many wrong, corrupt things are going on constantly around me and I feel like I can't sit back and do nothing! Even though I am pretty helpless anyway.



I'm having quite the identity crisis. I never fit anywhere. I feel as if I'm not black, white, or gray. I 'm in the middle on everything! so I don't have a place. I feel like it's ignorant to be really religious, but I can't quite get the words "I'm not religious" out of my mouth. I'm not a girlie girl, but apparently I wear to much make-up to fit in with the other kinds of girls. I could go on and on with every area of my life, stupid and important. It's like two constricting clashing forces are living inside my body making me live with constant cognitive dissidence. Nobody knows me and it kills me. I can't stand people who don't like me for no reason because it is completely out of my control. I feel as if I come of as confident on the outside, so I must be intimidating, but I don't have the real self-confidence inside me to back up the response people give me. Just everything I know and believe is not for sure. I can talk myself into a new angle of one situation constantly and I always change my mind. I'm saying a whole lot of thins that are not organized whatsoever and probably make no sense to anyone else. I'm too passionate for someone who struggles to have concrete beliefs. I've found that the best way to be invisible is to not act invisible at all. When you smile and talk a lot, nobody realizes what your hiding. Only the sad person in the corner, is the one who will truly get that attention. Ugh, this probably doesn't make sense.
In the end: Will I ever beat this overwhelming depression?