"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"
--Dillion

About Me

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I am a lot of things, sometimes it drives me insane,and I think too much, but at the end of the day I am happy with who I am. I spend most of my time trying to understand this life, creating the person I would like to be, and learning. I always appreciate the little things, and I try to be better than, and to make better, the bad things.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Please take it...

There's this part of my heart that I won't give to him. I keep it locked away for myself. I keep it there so I can never be vulnerable, so I can never be hurt, so I will never lose everything at once. I hold on to it so tightly because I refuse to give someone the chance to strip me of everything I am. He can have my joys, my dreams, my time, my attention, but my fears, my past, my faults and weaknesses, these things are mine and mine alone. I want to love him fully, with everything I am, but I don't know how. I'm not even sure why I don't. I trust him. I know he is pure and his love is true, but my fingers are still turning white from holding so tightly to that little piece, and I can't pry them open. That's when I realized my relationship with my fiancé is the same as my relationship with God, and my fear of getting hurt perils in comparison with the possibilities of what I could do if only I gave of myself entirely and let this broken being be totally and completely stripped.

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