I have this nightmare, and now that I am out of school it is more real and prevalent then ever. I wake up every morning at the same time, have my cup of coffee, drive to my boring job, answer emails until lunch, where I will go to one of the same 5 restaurants and order the exact same thing. On Friday nights we rent a movie, and Sundays we sit around waiting for it all to start again.
In this nightmare I have been bitten by society and have become a zombie running through the motions of every identical day until they are so blended together in routine and dull-activities that I can't pull them apart.
People always say, "the only constant in life is change". Well change I can handle, it's things staying the same that terrifies me, and this too is a dangerous mentality to be in.
People get sucked into these routines because it is comfortable and maybe they are content, which is good, but to me, "The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort." I want more than anything to be doing something different everyday, taste a new flavor, discover a new color, a new smell. The amazing thing is this world is filled with more than a lifetime worth of things to be discovered. Now that I know this I, although I appreciate my home and all of its' beauty, I cannot fall victim to a mediocre life, a meaningless job,a routine...
I want to feel ALIVE everyday.
About Me
- Care
- I am a lot of things, sometimes it drives me insane,and I think too much, but at the end of the day I am happy with who I am. I spend most of my time trying to understand this life, creating the person I would like to be, and learning. I always appreciate the little things, and I try to be better than, and to make better, the bad things.
I have found for me that having a constant like a daily, weekly routine allows for me to experience the inner adventure and change that life brings.
ReplyDeleteJust today on a routine walk with Daisy, one that I have taken again and again, I had that experience of really looking with fresh eyes, traveling in my own home. Noticing the blue of the sky, the shape of clouds and their varying shades of white, bluish gray which was a color I had never really noticed before in clouds. Noticing the layers and variations of green in the trees seeing how God chooses to decorate His home. The bright little yellow pepping out from the bottom layer from a small bush. The smells were fresh and new to me as well those of lilac mixed with rose and grass. Nothing in that moment seemed routine to me. It was a small adventure, a small gift.
My own inner journey this year has been a roller coaster ride and to be honest without the consistency of my daily routines I'm not sure what I would have done.
My yoga teacher said to me just yesterday, "notice the time when you're wrestling with something, trying to make it happen and see if you can (and she motioned like she was blowing a kiss) blow it away, surrender it." I'll pass it on to you in hopes it can bring you some comfort.
Love you!